In the world of adoption, there are many phrases and words for describing adoption, the process of adoption or parts of it, adoptees and other characters appearing with regularity. So called experts write books about acceptable adoption language and there are regularly arguments in various venues around social medias sites on correct useage, offensiveness, unacceptability and who is right/wrong/indifferent.
Here are some of them for your ‘enjoyment’ –
touched by adoption – always conjures up visions of a sort of magic wand of adoption with which we are pinged, My Little Ponies spring to mind. Other expressions of the past using the word touched are in other areas very unacceptable, considered racist, disablist etc. You may remember them touched by the tar brush, touched in the head and so on. Perhaps touched by adoption will go the same way as those have done amongst thoughtful people!
The Adoption Triad, The Adoption Mosaic, The Adoption Circle, The Adoption Triangle etc – you’ll note when you look closely none of these expression are actually fully descriptive, since they ignore disempowerement and appear to give all the same value, unless of course adoptees, who are sometimes left out altogether!
The Adoption Plan – like many other expressions, one which tidies things up, makes it look business-like and removes the pain and suffering in order not to upset anyone, particularly AP’s/PAP’s/HAP’s and mothers with the wool pulled over their eyes.
adoption is normal – really, who says so?An expression usually used by adopters, experts and those profitting in some way by adoption, sometimes by adoptees but very rarely and only in the first stages of adoption. The reactions of adoptees to adoption is normal, it is adoption which is pathological.There is a huge investment in making adoption appear normal, acceptable to all and ensuring that adoptees have therapies, treatments and interventions in order to become normal, play along and uphold the status quo.
gestational carrier, birthmother, baby factory, rented womb, crack whore and many other terms – used to describe mothers.
adoption is beautiful, the beauty of adoption – while adoption appears to be a beautifully neat and tidy solution to the surplus kids/orphan problem and solved by the infertile/saintly/good-hearted/needy/principled who adopt, it is often viewed through a single lens and the ugly, painful, difficult, immoral, exploitative side is ignored and often denied. Adoption is real life for adoptees, we live it until we die.
Work in progress contributions welcome…..