They Said….

Here are a few quotes taken from blogs and Face Book . They speak for themselves,  which is just as well because it’s hard to know  where to start with them! I’ll leave them here for your perusal and comment if you wish.

When they ” eventually discover that social workers, lawyers, clergy, and adoptive parents acting in collaboration to conceal their real identity and the names of their parents have lied to them, and the government even refuses to acknowledge their frustration, they become increasingly incensed and bad tempered about what happened to them.”  Judith is an adoptee and found at

Cameron Horn – ” I find the main problem with the difference of opinion between adoptees and dispossessed parents on the effects of adoption is this: they don’t actively, front-of-brain remember their removal – we do. We know what the separation meant and continues to mean within us, in a much more conscious, visceral way. Adopted people, with no memory of the violence and disassociation thrust upon them, cannot as clearly discern adoption’s affect. Also – adopted people have a vested interest in maintaining the belief that adoption has not harmed them or in fact, have a vested interest in promoting the myth that adoption was beneficial to them. That vested interest is in maintaining their role in their adoptive family as the healer of their adopters’ wounds. So, without a memory of their removal, and with a strong survival interest in downgrading the negative effects of their removal, they inevitably side with the adoption promoters, believing adoption is either beneficial or at worst, neutral” Cameron is a father-of-loss and a supporter of Origins.

Lesley Pearse  – “Murray Legro Did you not understand that MOTHERS have given the right to their abducted sons and daughters to speak.”  Lesley is a mother-of-loss. Murray is an adoptee and LDA.

Brenda Coughlan -“ If adopted persons stood by their natural mothers justice and accountability would be achieved – but whilst adopted persons allow academic points of view continue to divide families – we will soon see only the voices of adopted persons being heard and mothers consent for future adoptions disposed with – reading through academic documents written in 1960’s nothing has changed nor the attitude of many adopted persons – it all being about them and not the experience mother and child enjoyed – the bond formed but severed by those who thought better – history is about to repeat itself – so where are the adopted persons voices to history repeating itself? Play it again sam”

Have a happy and peaceful weekend. When we live in such a crazy world, our time out and time off become even more vital and precious.  Recharging our batteries, being with those we love, in places we love, are essential for our well-being. May you have all you need  ❤






4 thoughts on “They Said….

  1. When any woman finds herself single and pregnant, the first order of business is to find an attorney to learn all her legal options. I would recommend this to all women who find themselves single with children at any time in their life.
    Every city has a list of “pro bono” attorneys (free to people of low income), that can assist. This list can be found in a cities “clerk of courts” office in the public defenders building.
    The first directive to the attorney is to advise her of all the services available to her, to parent her child, and her legal options regarding support.
    The person now has choice to make an educated decision.
    AND NEVER make A SOCIAL WORKER your first any level in the public welfare system, or any adoption agency..especially one associated with a religion…..

    • Couldn’t agree more, from what I have heard and know about America. Will it get better? There seems little hope for the next few years and the potential for winding back the clock seems unlimited. I dare say every country has it’s shortcomings. In mine at present amongst other things, it is the laws about surrogacy which do not match up with practice.

      • Bring the Scientific evidence of permanent Infant Trauma (damage) into the Spotlight. This information will hurt..but to reform policy’s, you must prove permanent damage to child. The evidence exits..IF YOU FEEL Comfortable…to share it.
        Here are some scientific sources you can confirm in the Internet.
        Research by Dr. Allen N. Schorn in Trauma Attachment (Google Scholar,California) finds the neurology of an infants brain changes when permanently separated from the person it grew in for 9 months. Surrogacy is no different…the infant is taken away from the person it grew in for 9 months, even though the incubator is not biologically related, the kid expects to hear the same sounds as if in utero from birth up to learning a language. (Psychologial Trauma and the Developing Brain by Phyllis T. Stien and Joshua Kendall)Routledge Press NY London).
        When separated, Schorn describes the action of the child as survival bonding, or Trauma Attachment to adopted parents.
        To what degree does this trauma alter the child;s perception of all relationships from birth forward?
        Does this frame how a person approaches relationships throughout life?
        What are the differences in human survival bonding vs. human intimate bonding?
        Expert scientists now say that adoptees are over represented in counseling: Dr. Paul Sunderland, UTUBE lecture on Adoption UK.
        Your blog is SO VERY IMPORTANT to the future of social justice policy’s, such as the Human Rights Commissions article on the Rights of the Child at the UN.
        Keep Going, Stay Safe, Be well,

        • Thank you so much for your comment and the information Ginny. For many adoptees who write I believe there is a sense of understanding the importance of bringing to light the damage, the evidence to underline the need for understanding, change and justice. I will copy your comment to a blog post. Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s