Do not feed the fears

Being loyal to ourselves, playing out the fears….

Mermaid Rising

Do not feed fears

In my therapy, I am learning about abuser loyalty – the keeping of the perpetrator in a central role in our life (even if it is a negative one) and the internalization of abuser values (the messages we had foisted upon us by our abusers). You can usually spot abuser values because they often start with “You are (insert negative word here). For example ‘you are worthless’, ‘you are ugly’, you are stupid’, ‘you are mine to do with as I please’, etc) ). We often stay loyal to our abusers by living out their negative labeling and by continuing the abuse long after we are free of the abuser. This is why  so many sexual abuse survivors grow up to be repeatedly sexually abused. We learned our bodies were not ours and we learned we couldn’t protect ourselves. These are abuser values. Whether or not it was stated overtly…

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