My comment which is ‘awaiting moderation’ –
I’d like to think that everyone valued everyone else’s opinion although sadly that is not the impression we all get when people are passionate about what they believe and we are all involved in difficult tasks. Parenting is difficult and adoptive parenting is the hardest form of parenting there is. That’s why those adopting need to be very carefully chosen for their special abilities and skills, their commitment, humour, patience, dedication, imagination and persistence. Once we’ve go the message on anything why would we keep listening? Because we just might learn something new because people are individuals, unique and no story is the same. Only you can judge whether you want to hear or not, although as with all of us, the results of whether we did hear or not are usually obvious by what we then say. All are important in adoption aren’t they? That’s why the adoption triad idea is not valid. Unlike most mothers-of-loss and adopters, most adoptees who are activists care deeply about what happens to the next generations of adoptees They care that stigma still exist and that many do not have the same rights as other citizens. And they try to do something about it. Adopters have their hands full with parenting. Parenting style is very personal but don’t we all want the vey best for adoptees who have suffered so much already?
Birth mothers want to be called “mom,” or “mother,” but you want to refer to her as “birth mom.” Your son would like to call her, “tummy mommy,” but his birth mom wants to be referred to as “Mom.” What do you do? Older adoptees share their opinions on how we should raise our kids, what we should tell them, what not to say.
Our world is so focused on always being politically correct, and yes, there’s definitely a necessity for that, but it seems that in the case of adoption it takes away from what adoptive parents want. It’s as if our opinions don’t matter, and I’ve been told by adoptees exactly that, my feelings and perspectives don’t matter. Other parents have been told by…
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