My Dear William,
you have seen fit to leave me another Facebook message, while making sure I can’t reply this time. Not that I would have, as the finality is definitely well expressed. You said –
Dear von I have been forced to cut of all contact with you because M has said that you cut and past my posts and send them to him This saens me I feel now that I should have listened to the people who advised me not to trust certain people but i did not listen I took each person at face value Its sad
I’m sad you’re not brave enough to hear my reply and sorry that you searched until you found a way to cut me off that doesn’t include the truth. If it hadn’t been this it would have been something else. Unfortunately it seems you have been associating with a few Drama Queens and have caught a dose of it or perhaps you always had it and that’s why they attracted you. Clearly they advised you not to trust ‘certain people’ and you didn’t. I have never put you in a position where I asked you to trust me or where trust was required, since that is very often a difficult place for adoptees. Over a period of time you asked me questions about adoption which I answered as fully as I was able, always with honesty and truth, because that is how I roll. If you took me at face value you would have been right and in listening to those who have other agendas and believe in ‘advising’, you have done yourself a disservice, which may become apparent to you in time. You have not been ‘forced’ to cut off contact with me, you chose to do so because you have not had the courage to face the truth and deal with it. You’d rather believe a group of single-minded blinkered people who have a one track agenda or those who are not seeing the wider picture and have the cheek to lecture others on what is the politically correct next move for progress. That really is absurd and would be laughable if it wasn’t so sad, elitist and adoptist.
You will note from my post here https://eagoodlife.wordpress.com/2015/01/28/why-adoptees-can-never-win that I cut and pasted your friend Daniel’s final message to me and that I mentioned you, but did not quote you. You really are a pair of Silly Billys!! I’ll still be here somewhere down the track when you come to your senses, drop the paranoia and leave the drama out of it. Until then, take care and remember to question everything, look at all sides and try to see the consequences of your actions before you get into hot water.
Adoptionland is a dangerous place for the naïve and vulnerable. There are so many damaged people only too willing to damage others, to imagine hurts where none exist, to make dangerous assumptions and to invent ‘facts’, scenarios, illnesses and false stories. The bullying, ridicule, knifing and cruelty make a school playground look like a picnic. It still never fails to amaze me that those who have experienced similar hurts, traumas and losses can be so very cruel, dismissive, patronising and hurtful to those in the same boat. Then again, this is Australian Adoptionland I’m talking about, so disorganised, so scattered, so unaccepting, so hard and so undermined by those you might imagine owed us better. Perhaps those who say adoption is changing really are right. Within the next twenty or thirty years the mothers-of-loss will have departed this life and adoptees of my generation…war babies born way before those mothers…..will have died too, leaving behind nothing but an incorrectly written history in which D. Welfare appears as a saint and we adoptees who made Submissions to the Inquiry into forced adoption** will still be described as ‘wallowing in misery’ or having had ‘good adoptions’ and our right to make a Submission questioned. Our efforts to encourage adoptees to speak out and find their voices will be long forgotten and hopefully it will be accepted that adoptees have a voice, often a united voice, which is raised for reform, for change and effectively for progress and active participation in justice for children and the end of adoption, except for those who simply cannot be raised safely and effectively by their biological parents or kin.
I hope William, you will still be engaged in activism, carrying the banner for adoptees, advocating justice and doing all you can to ensure the next generations of adoptees have it better than we all have. You will need endurance, stamina, commitment, patience, acceptance, far-sightedness, fair-mindedness, balance, a strong stomach and heart and passion. I wish you well, good outcomes and effective action,
Your fellow adoptee,