An Easier Way

There’s always an easier way if we stop to look for it or let is come to us. We don’t need to agitate, stress or become distressed, annoyed or angry, what we need will find it’s way to us and the answers will arrive. Often the solutions are right under our nose, just waiting for us to see them. That special T’ai Chi teacher, the carpenter who will remodel our kitchen at a low-cost, the relief we need from chronic pain, the book that will answer our questions and so on….. How often we are impatient, not able to wait patiently until we have a solution and we settle for something that is second best.
A while back I discovered the beautiful Bush Flower Essence range of products for skin care. On a bad day, a few minutes out to take care of the self can change a day, turn things around and flip the coin. I went to the local Health Food Shop to replenish my stock yesterday. They live on a shelf just above eye level. My fumbling hands managed to knock over the whole shelf of boxes, a domino effect! I announced to the shop that I was not safe to be out alone and would wreck the place if I stayed much longer. We all smiled wryly and I proceeded with my purchases. Beside me another customer was quietly putting the shelf in order and I became the subject of a random act of kindness. How good that felt and how grateful I was to be the recipient of a simple but generous act. Another heartfelt thank you to the unknown customer who will be forever remembered for something that meant so much to me, but would have been easy for her, as it once would have been for me. Do it while you can is my motto! I was so grateful not to be fussed over, but for my distress to have been quietly noticed and acted on. That experience and my later one having an eye test and choosing new glasses reminded me that there are so many kind people in the world, people with compassion and empathy, people who are not afraid to show they care or get involved or do the best job they can.
Having reached a new phase in my life, I seem to have been freed from any last vestiges of the effects of the adopted life. All my parents are long dead – there is no-one to upset or be upset with, I have no responsibilities and the past is the past. That is a tremendous weight off the shoulders, as I know some of you who are in the midst of things will agree. I can speak my mind, do what I want to and please myself in most things. On holiday I met a women who said “Why wear black? Life’s too short to be boring.” In her 60’s she was colourfully attired, always interesting, knew how to take risks and was clearly having fun. You can’t argue with that! I’m now awaiting my new Vera Wang glasses in red and a parcel from America containing a couple of very lively and interesting jackets. My own dear first mother-in-law had a wardrobe full of huge prints and patterns, bright colours and cast offs from her friends, who had bought an item but not been brave enough to wear it. At her 90th birthday she looked fantastic, made a speech and let out the person she’d been all along, but had hidden because her family might disapprove. They censured her for years because she had loved and cared for her husband, put him first and looked after him in a way they thought demeaning. The family’s lack of compassion for the needs of both, their history of childhood abuse which meant they clung together, were safe and loved was sad, clouded by what they felt was their own lack of good parenting. How strongly we cling to what we deem as the wrongs done us, the injuries and wounds and how little we sometimes look at the other side, the intergenerational damage, the legacy we would do well to confront, conquer and resolve for the sake of our children and our healthy, survivor selves. Have a great weekend! I’m off to the Farmer’s Market tomorrow, brunch with my wonderful daughter and then she’s going to massage my back with essential oils and cover me with hot towels! Could life be better? Have fun!

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