The Life of Riley

In the last twelve hours we have had torrential rain, overhead lightning and deafening thunder and now sunshine and calm. Roses are blooming early and everything is greener than I’ve ever seen it. Shortly I’m expecting the Winter creek to start running, because we’ve had so much rain our tanks are overflowing and hot showers are a delicious luxury when there is plenty of water and a brand new hot water service. I have moved back into the bigger of the front rooms of the house and it is like sleeping inside a freshly blooming rose!IMG_8379 Calming, restful and relaxing! No doubt it will have a very beneficial effect on my health and state of mind. It’s been tough going lately with a great deal of pain and most mornings a write off. As the day progresses it gets easier, life looks rosier and a degree of contentment can be found. I take comfort in all the usual tried and tested things – warmth, chai, chocolate, reading, doing the rounds of FaceBook, cats, cooking, contact with those I love and learning something new. Sometimes a few of those come together delightfully and in a welcome way. My Dear Daughter complained that now she is not living in the same house I’m not making enough contact with her! What a very welcome piece of information and one that is easily remedied.I feel in touch with her life and all her adventures. This last weekend she spent camping in a Tipi in a beautiful part of our State where birds and wildlife abound. She walked, she sang, she drummed, ate and cared for her soul.Superb-Fairy-wren-di280-280x200
This week she has surprised me with a wonderful birthday gift, a once in a lifetime holiday for the two of us when we will have the chance to swim with dolphins, experience some of nature’s wonders and live the life of Riley, being pampered, fed and entertained for two whole weeks. It all happens in November and it gives me three months to plan, arrange and anticipate. It’s not too long but just long enough to get things done including purchase an evening gown!! I could babble on about it all day but you’re spared as other issues have come up today which need attention.
I was being driven to the dentist this morning by a relative. It is a 30 minute journey and 20 minutes in, the questions began about my adoption – how I feel about it now, how I feel about my mother, my father, how my anger is, how my primal wound is fairing and other questions which began to feel intrusive, disrespectful and with a hidden agenda. By all means ask a few tentative questions when there is plenty of time for answers and to do the subject justice. Eventually I became angry and ended the conversation by saying that I was no longer a ‘good adoptee’ who would suck it up and put up with this sort of abuse and that these days if it was unacceptable I was going to say so. The questioner acted hurt and said they’d been trying ‘to show interest’ – such a typical reaction from those who seem to think we should be grateful for being given the opportunity to talk about it, our adoption! These days I rarely need to talk about it and have come as far as I can for now with my feelings towards my parents, all of them, and towards what happened to me. I incline towards the ‘That’s life! I’m getting on with it’ viewpoint and while I see adoption as a never ending journey, the pace certainly changes at this end of life. I’ve resolved all I can , learned all I can, understood all I can and been empathetic and accepting of all, even my father, who was free to walk away and never saw me. I am truly grateful to my fellow adoptees who have given me their support, shared their thoughts and helped me to realise over time that the abuse of adoptees is not acceptable and that it is the behaviour of non-adoptees which has to change.

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