Looking a Gift Horse

van goghIt’s been a beautiful day. Wore a cheerful, new Indigo blue dress and went to the city for a bone density scan. The technicians were delightful, Raj and Bev, who did a great job, were kind, friendly and able to joke. I’m sure the results will be perfect and require no further action. On the way home we stopped for food. The conversation at the next table was penetratingly loud, particularly when the speaker announced that the girl she was talking about was not, of course, ‘a real daughter’, although she wasn’t adopted and had been raised for most of her life by a step-father, who presumably wasn’t a ‘real’ step-father!! My irritation was palpable and fortunately the meal was over by then, so it was easy to leave and the comments about being ‘real’, irresistible. How often people speak without thought or knowledge, without care or sensitivity. They must bluff and bluster their way through life, blundering and stumbling at every turn.
Here in Australia our newish Government has eventually delivered it’s first Budget. There is a furore. They have managed to upset almost every group of people in the country, except the very rich. We have been told today that pensioners squander their money on cruises and luxuries and don’t deserve more! At every turn their words and actions are offensive and insulting. In all my years living in both Hemispheres, listening to Governments of various hues hand down Budgets, I have never witnessed one as punitive, harsh and out of touch with real life as this latest. As my dearly beloved late First Father-in-Law would have said, “It beggars belief.” He was a man of great principle. His father was a gold miner and supported a family of five children through hard times. He rose to a position of prominence his adoring mother would never have thought possible, if she’d been alive to see it. He never lost his sense of justice, his compassion or his ability to remain in touch with the battlers, the fighters, the strugglers and survivors. He was an inspiration and a loving and much loved man, although still not the father I wish I had been lucky enough to grow up with, came a little closer and helped me to learn to value my own beliefs and principles. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I can’t say I realised that at the time!
Here’s an offering from someone who seems to be intent on remaining anonymous, or at any rate hiding behind a page name on Facebook. In setting up a page in which she calls for compassion for adoptees, she says in response to a comment about being transparent in order to establish credibility – I don’t see a need to establish my credibility at all, as this page is about compassion for the experience of people who were adopted and offers healing, by acknowledging their experience. It will also provide information, to educate people in what is happening around adoption, as it comes to light. If others can provide input into that and extend the information available for people to access, that is great It seems so easily forgotten that adoptees find it hard to trust, some of us need to know who we are dealing with, what their position is on adoption and whether or not they are an adoptee who might have that empathy we so often find amongst our brothers and sisters in adoption. Being asked to accept someone who isn’t revealing who they are or what they do in ‘real life’ seems somehow dishonest (Creativity Coaching, Reiki, landing deals worth $$$000s through Facebook etc), unnecessarily secretive or purposely hiding something they don’t want us to know for some reason. Personal privacy is a right and sometimes a necessity, but in wanting to offer something to adoptees, we need to know that looking a gift horse in the mouth isn’t going to land us with a nasty Vet’s bill!pink On a more cheerful note, I’ve spent some time finishing my new courtyard garden, the last touch being to transplant some pink succulents into the edge of a bed, where they nestle into the backs of the rocks I’ve used to make the edging. The rocks were carefully ‘mined’ and transported from the bottom of the empty dam one Summer and have beautiful ochre colours through them. The bed also has iris and will gradually evolve as a flower bed, unlike the other two beds which are for vegetables, herbs and a few flowers such as Hollyhocks for height and colour. It’s a great feeling to be finished, as finished as a garden can ever be.
Here’s a pretty garden blog I’ve just found about an evolving garden if you’re an interested gardener or an aspiring gardener at http://thevioletfern.com The Blogger has named her garden after her Grandmother – Violet Fern. This is a real garden, with weeds and imperfections, which gives lots of joy and pleasure to it’s creator. As every garden worth making does! Have a happy weekend!


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