“his life story”

Adoptees never truly know the story of their conception, birth and adoption. They have only received information. Even after reunion or ‘rematrification’ they can only know what they have been told by their mother and others. We can never know how much of that is true, what has been convenient to tell, inconvenient to tell an therefore omitted or reworked to look pretty. For instance did my mother really think my father would marry her once she was pregnant, was she careless, manipulating or just lying? Maybe it was the truth. I will never know just as no adoptee can ever know the ‘back story’ that happened before they were cognisant and able to remember and express themselves. There is no one story of our adoptions. We so often see adopters imposing their story as if it were the only story, the ‘real’ story and the acceptable story. We make our own lives but will always have that first chapter blank.


I’ve almost done a “search terms post” here a dozen times, because I get some very strange ones. (I think it’s because I cuss a lot.) This one caught my attention for a different reason, though:

“why wont my adopted son believe his life story”

(I’ll be making some assumptions as I try to answer this question. I’ll do my best to recognize them and point them out when I do.)

Mr. or Ms. Search Term User:

I’m guessing by “his life story” you mean “the story of how your son got into your family.” (That’s interesting, because it’s usually non-adoptees who tell adoptees we need to call our adoption a one-time, safely-in-the-past event instead of our “life story.” But never mind.)

I’ll assume that your son was adopted at a very young age; otherwise he’d remember his own story. So, look: Why should he believe “his life story”? “His…

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