Well, what a week it has been! What a few weeks really and my absence here denotes another hospital stay, this time a short one but rather rushed. I have had an abscess on my abdomen…what could be less glamorous and more mundane than that? Painful too and inconvenient and just when I thought I was winning, things changed and I was sent off to hospital for a little piece of emergency intervention by a crash-hot team who mercifully gave me a general anaesthetic and plenty of kindness at 9.30 at night into the early hours when they tended to me, administered excellent drugs and made me comfortable. They did so well I was able to come home the next day and am receiving the skilled attentions of the District Nurse daily for the next 3 weeks. I have stitches to be seen to, pain to be controlled and am doing very well.
It has been an excellent opportunity to address some new approaches to pain, trauma and how to deal with them. Trauma it seems layers itself until a last layer may prove to be very painful and appear out of proportion to the injury or cause. In tracing back the history of injury and trauma it may be possible to address the results and find the best ways to deal with them for pain control and even elimination. Practitioners were telling me my swollen belly is to do with loss. I came out of my recent experience with the strong impression it is to do with fear. And why wouldn’t it be? How fearful must it be for a baby, deserted and abandoned, to learn to live alone, to self-sooth, to meet needs and cope with the terrifying ordeal that may have no end, has no answers because the questions can’t be formed? Fear has been ever present and surely must be for most adoptees. Unspecified or unidentifiable health problems are a source of fear for others who care and build a platform of reason for fear which is understandable but unhelpful for the sufferer however positive they feel or however certain they are about the future and recovery or ability to heal. So fear it is and I’m running with it, looking for time to delve into it, process it and learn all I can, so that I can prevent this happening again.
In the meantime life goes on. Our Prime Minister is still going from bad to worse; Charlotte Dawson is still dead, an adoptee who suffered so publicly, who’s life was not enhanced by a narcissistic partner who considered Olympic competition more important than parenthood; another adoptee has died at the hands of abusive adopters; our neighbours are still suffering the loss of two family members by misadventure and our district is in mourning; vintage has begun, a time of great stress for those involved; tragedy abounds, beauty and kindness are alive and well and many adoptees press on with the important work of publishing books, lobbying senators and educating the misinformed.
Summer is nearly over here and the first mellow signs of Autumn are with us. I’m not sorry. Despite everything, it’s been a good Summer for me; not too arduous, not too tough to survive and one in which my District kept safe due to the efforts of our volunteer firefighters, firewatchers and firemonitors. They get better each year, more skilled, more successful and better equipped.
A piece on The Good Life –
Normal service should be resumed here very soon – once your Blogger works out what is ‘normal’!! Have a fun week!
And something for the chronic pain sufferer, don’t we all know those times!!