Dismissing Your Story

220px-Red_bottle_brushOutside my window the ground slopes sharply upwards. The geese are grazing there, checking me out through the window and making ‘Hello’ gestures by lifting their heads upwards. They haven’t seen much of me this last week and have come to find out why.The oldest goslings must be 7 weeks old by now as the wing weathers are starting to grow and although still fluffy they are huge, gangling teens! The babies are still learning to be flock members and doing well.The garden they are grazing in is a picture this year, full of colour and flower. The biggest tree is covered in bright red flowers, a Bottle-Brush and having a good year after a rest year last year.
Hard to dismiss any of the beauty of it all, but I dare say some misery guts might attempt it! It is all wonderfully grounding and keeps me and my family firmly fixed on our goals, our plans and on creating new ones, new adventures and discoveries. The things that keep life real and help us to face up to the other realities – the hard bits, the heart-breaks, the losses, the illness, the disabilities and disappointments. There is no end to striving, to learning, to the hard work of being, and living in a beautiful, peaceful place is a comfort, a mainstay, a firm foundation and a joy, which requires much thankfulness. That is no hardship and comes easily. I have found that whatever difficulties and hardships life manages to find for us there are always more things to be thankful for than to regret. Practising daily thankfulness along with mindfulness must be a necessity for those of us who have suffered, had hard losses, dismissals and denials. We can’t change the past, we can change our attitude to it and we can change our future.
This week has been full of dismissals, disdain, blame, wrongful attribution, assumptions and poisonous venom from those who think they know the full story, believe things that aren’t true and engage in fantasy and invention. This tiny world of adoption here in Australia is full of hurt, damage, paranoia and fanciful invention, shortsightedness and inability to see the bigger picture. It is a sad and toxic place to be and to survive it we must develop strategies for ourselves. For some of us that means tight-knit support, careful review of who we trust and vigilance about what we read. It will not change until those who promote disharmony, seek out lack of inclusion and actively pursue toxic agendas and vendettas, retire, tire or are removed. How much better we could do without these distractions!
Excellent thought-provoking post here by fellow adoptee Deanna –

Adoptee Restoration: When People Dismiss Your Story.

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