In a world where the majority live by violence, with violence and are about violence, which is revered, cultivated and enshrined, there are chilling examples around us all the time.
In learning to view life differently those who undertake this journey of healing will be the most powerful individuals and will inevitably play a central role in confronting human violence in all its contexts. They will also be highly Self-aware and thus able to avoid inflicting visible, ‘invisible’ and ‘utterly invisible’ violence on children
For those of us who revere gentleness, non-violence and understand that violence is passed down the generations, unquestioned and normalised, life will never be a safe place to be a child, particularly an adopted child, particularly if we are a transnational adoptee. By now you must all know the figures, the numbers of adoptees tortured, murdered by adopters, many in the name of a good christian upbringing. When will it end? When will adoption, that place of loss and trauma be safe from the additional abuse and violence inflicted by the sick and misguided, the badly assessed and the monied, for whom money buys anything? Where is the care, the genuine provision of loving families for children who actually need one?
Adoption inflicts violence on children continually, in a multitude of ways -through the cruel act of removal from the mother, to the fabrication of a new identity and the lifelong stigma and reminders of bastardry, ‘illegitimacy’ and second-rate status. They never go away. Nor does the questioning of our entitlement, position, status, rightfulness and ability to contribute, comment, have an opinion or a ‘know’ about adoption’. We adoptees who can, are forging ahead with a new version of adoption, our version, wrought from our experience, knowledge and concern for the next generation of adoptees. We are making good progreess, daily, as new books, magazines, posts , articles, films, videos and interviews appear. It is an optimistic and hopeful time, with more adult adoptees joining us all the time to create honest dialogue, productive discussions and a new truthful picture of what adoption has been, what it is and what it could be.