Rochell Lancaster – Hate Bitchin’?

Today produced one of these choice comments on Facebook, not to me, but about me, by someone who does not know me and certainly knows nothing of my mother’s circumstances or where and when I was born. It seems I am “One of those slandering adoptees. Note, she is a post-adoption counsellor and adoptee. Note that she is not impacted by the removalist policy perpetrated in the Australian public hospital system under the watch of several Commonwealth governments.”
Rochell Lancaster “Hate bitches like that”
I’ve been called a few things by mothers-of-loss, but this is a first for ‘slandering adoptee’ and especially ‘one of those slandering adoptees’. Obviously I’m part of a bastard group I wasn’t aware of!!
Have you ever noticed, fellow adoptees, how we are constantly in situations where we have to justify our existence, our stories and the facts as we know them? In my life I often say I don’t have to justify anything to anyone, but of course I’m probably referring to some ‘normal’ non-adopted life, one I will never know. I have to be careful to separate the parts of my life into that which I don’t have to justify and won’t justify and that which I feel deserves rebuttal because it is so incorrect that it is an insult to my mother, her circumstances and her experiences. In doing so I may have to reveal more of her and my circumstances than I would like to and I find that offensive and intrusive, but I will not be slandered or have her slandered, particularly by someone I suspect is a mother-of-loss and an origins member by association. My attitude is that anything I have not previously revealed or been able to tell, is probably due for telling and I try to make it of advantage to myself in my ongoing journey of adoption. Once I ignored hate mail, today I call out those who post it, because they are ignorant, ill-informed, prone to gross assumption and do nothing to advance our understanding of adoption and it’s effects. Is it so hard to remember we’re real people out here and that it is fine to refute, to put an opposing view, but please let’s stick to facts?
Here’s an excellent article on forgiveness and non-forgiveness – enshrining universal forgiveness as a panacea, a requirement or the only moral choice, is rigid, simplistic and even pernicious. Yet that is exactly what we have done. Today we demonize not forgiving as much as we idealize forgiving. Failure to forgive, therapists caution, is to “doom yourself to be a victim for the rest of your life,” while clergy warn that it inexorably leads to a “recycling of evil.”<p>Must You Forgive? | Psychology Today.

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4 thoughts on “Rochell Lancaster – Hate Bitchin’?

  1. They dont want our facts, they just want to continue spreading their twisted versions of truth that twist reality so that they come out looking ok……..keep speaking your truth Von. We love and value you for it.

  2. I had just asked another adoptee about “must we forgive” – you are so queued in, Von, with the flow of importance on this topic and journey of being adopted. I know your strength only grows after attacks on you. F*ck Them!

    • As they say in the country of my ancestors ‘Oo-ar!!’ Trace or in other words bring it on. The more others reveal their prejudices and bigotry the more there is to work with.This woman apparently thinks I am a POM i.e an immigrant from Britain and therefore not entitled to an opinion about adoption. How quickly assumption gets us into trouble! xx

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