dig her own grave

In a quick trawl of Facebook this morning, all these stories and disclosures came to light, along with other abuses in adoption, such as the guilty verdict of an adopter who abused and killed a teenage adoptee in her care and the latest on the Veronica case.
According to Twohey, some of the messages mention that children were previously sexually abused. “Sex offender experts will tell you that these kind of advertisements are a predator’s dream come true,” said Twohey.

Adopted girl says mother forced her to dig her own grave – Investigations.

I read a recent comment by a grandmother of the children of an adoptee complaining that a particular Facebook group was not more positive about adoption!!
She has much to learn, including that groups on Facebook are whatever the Admins want them to be, set them up to be and that they usually serve the purpose they are designed for – often to expose the fraud, corruption and lies within the adoption industry! Perhaps she doesn’t yet know that there is fraud, corruption and lies in adoption, or that there is an adoption industry or an adoption underbelly, in which it seems anything is possible to achieve if there is enough money and a market. That may seem a cynical view, but the information which floods the news every day would be enough to close any other industry down, but then the adoption indusutry isn’t really an industry is it? It is not subject to the same regulations, laws and conventions, it is worldwide and in an case conventions put in place to protect adoptees don’t seem to mean much. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hague_Adoption_Convention)
Despite a 2003 law against human trafficking, including selling children, it is Nigeria’s third most common crime behind fraud and drug trafficking, the United Nations has said. The European Union has cited Nigeria as the African country where the scourge is most common.Some fear newborns are being sold to witchdoctors for rituals in a country where occult practices still occur. Some say fraudsters in the region had simply found another reliable way to earn cash.
The Puchallas had ‘rescued’ Quita from an orphanage in Liberia, brought her to America and then signed her over to a couple they barely knew. Days later, they had no idea what had become of her.http://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part2
When she arrived in the United States, Quita says, she thought she was “coming to a nicer place, a safer place. It didn’t turn out that way,” she says today. “It turned into a nightmare.”
The teenager had been tossed into America’s underground market for adopted children, a loose Internet network where desperate parents seek new homes for kids they regret adopting. Like Quita, now 21, these discarded children are often the casualties of international adoptions gone sour.

When you read that someone closely connected to adoption had not idea about the corruption, the abuses, the missing children, the profits and the markets, you wonder whether they ever read the papers, watch the news or understand that adoption is not about unicorns and rainbows, tummy mummies and paper pregnancies, Gottcha Days and fluffy pink stuff. Until every adoptee is safe, loved and cared for, adoption will be about nightmares, abuse, people getting rich from trafficking, orphan creation, dirty diamonds, baby farms, false documents, lies, lack of concern for identity, loss and trauma. Every adopter must question their part in promoting and maintaining the adoption industry, look carefully at what they did, the ethics of those they were involved with, the decisions they took and look at their motivation in creating another adoptee – condemning another child to the adopted life. Until adults do all they can to preserve family life, eradicate poverty and destroy the adoption industry and protect children and babies from adoption, keep them in their motherland preferably with their own people and work towards the civil rights of adult adoptees to make them equal to others, along with all the other tasks too numerous to detail here, don’t let it be said that adoption is wonderful! It is not and never will be.
When loss is the beginning and trauma a condition of adoption, no adoptee will get off scot-free however ‘good’ the adoption. Those adoptees will in all probability need support and help at some time to deal with their adoption. Imagine how it is for those adoptees who have been abused, abandoned again or who discover their records are a fabrication, their adoption concealed or falsified. Adoptees need their places to express how they feel about those experiences, many of them are private, as they need to be, to fend off the doubters, to keep away the rabid religiosos, the curious and the ill, for whom we never cease to be curiosities, targets and victims. Many are able to write, to publish books, to blog, to make films and dramastic presentations, to do stand-up and all praise to them for their courage and commitment, their strength and dedication. That dedication often comes from a wish to help those who cannot speak for themselves, the voiceless, the traumatised, the murdered, the missing and the Veronicas. We care about our own, our fellow adoptees, our brothers and sisters in adoption when others it seems do not. Next time an irate adopter or non-adoptee professes to care, ask them what they are doing to fight corruption in adoption, towards rights for adoptees, to prevent poverty and to publicise the realities of adoption. I’ll be interested to hear their answer!


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