Dissolution, Disruption and Dynamics

We so often read about families formed by adoption where the adoptee is blamed for disruption, disturbances, disputes, dysfunction and almost anything else you care to name, all of which are not the responsibility of a young child, but are the result of the treatment of the child by adults at some stage of their lives.
1-10% of adoptions are dissolved it seems in America, according to the National Council for Adoption. Many of those could be avoided if assessments were thorough, information fully given, home studies done by one independent body, home studies were geared towards finding the best parents for children, preparation to adopt was inclusive of all aspects of adoption, support after adoption was adequate, money ceased to drive adoption and honesty became paramount.
It is refreshing to see TNCFA address the difficulties in this way –
Observationally, we see a tendency to over-pathologize behavior that may be relatively normal, or at least normal for an adopted child with attachment difficulties. This often takes the form of Reactive Attachment Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and many others, which may or may not be clinically warranted depending on the situation. We have also often seen labels used which are not appropriate in children prior to their later teen years, such as sociopathic, psychopathic, borderline personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder. In a dissolution, one or both parents become absolutely convinced of these labels, and seem to view the child and virtually all of his behaviors through this harmful and very negative lens.
While many of the family dynamics we have observed are typical in other homes as well, they are marked by a degree of intensity, pervasiveness, and entrenchment among this cohort of families seeking dissolution. It is possible that, for various reasons, these marriages and families are, at the outset, more susceptible to the unique pressures of dealing with children with attachment issues. Further study and understanding of these dynamics would prove extremely useful in developing more effective interventions for struggling adoptive families, possibly leading to greater success in preventing dissolution

Adoption Advocate No. 62 – Publications – National Council For Adoption.

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One thought on “Dissolution, Disruption and Dynamics

  1. They create a science to study adopters. Why am I not surprised?
    So a rocky marriage gets blamed on the adoptee and the adoptee goes away (as in dissolution) – to me that is why adoption must be abolished – it’s ridiculous kids get caught in these terrible situations. (more like insane families)
    Kids are sponges – they absorb everything. They are defenseless in these situations. Dissolution must destroy them as much as the abandonment, right?
    I am amazed at how much is studied about those who adopt and not the adoptee, really sad.

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