I had a dream. I have a dream. In the dream I had, a tiny baby, newborn, finds her way into a group of professionals or carers or both, in some sort of ‘official’ setting. I am observing and while the professionals talk and confer, I pick up the baby, hold her, cuddle her and look after her. I save her life with this simple, basic gesture of humanity, although I don’t in the dream see it that way, it is common sense and what has to be done. The professionals take over and eventually congratulate themselves and each other for the great job they have done in the care of the baby. My part is ignored, omitted and I feel, in the dream, sad and heavy-hearted that such a vital part of her survival could be ignored and overlooked. I’m sure you can see how this is going!! In the dream I am that baby and also the saver of the baby. The dream represents the way in which I saved myself as a new-born after I was abandoned by my mother, cast out into the world alone, so vulnerable I could not feed myself or see to my own needs, except that of survival. Many, many babies die, not always through lack of food, but through lack of love. When we survive that lack of love and loving care, it is choice, our choice and we may bear the scars of that fight for survival for life. Nevertheless we chose survival, we chose life.
I have a dream that we will all recognise that we are the heroes, we will understand the enormity of our choice and of the effects of the choices of others and that we will find the best ways to overcome the damage of those effects, to live with what can’t be mended to the best of our abilities and to continue to survive the very best we can. In time I hope, like Jeanette Winterson and Judith Lucy, we can all come to laugh about adoption, to find the funny side in our predicament. It is healthy to laugh and always a good sign when humour finds it way into a serious situation. I am looking forward to the showing of a new series on ABC1 called ‘Upper Middle Bogan’. The central character is an LDA who finds her biological parents and her siblings in a comedy which could be very amusing and telling, or awful. I have a feeling from the previews that it will be the former. I have overcome my initial horror at the idea, it seems we adoptees are now interesting and no longer invisible…that has to be a good thing! See what you think……
And to finish, a very different situation, all to do with questions about suitability of couples to adopt, an instructive adoption assessment process, respect for potential adoptees and an understanding that adoption is about finding suitable families for adoptees not to meet the needs of adults –
“We are trying to create an environment in the society for those people who are needy and want to adopt babies,” Hussain said.