Please also understand that deriding others for not adhering to your finely honed sense of purity (however you perceive or define it) is more about your sense of self than about creating change.
Until the pervasive presence/threat of cultural violence is diminished and ultimately eradicated, we must never stop exposing it, factoring it into our words and actions, and finding ways to sabotage it.
The revolutionary process involves the nuts and bolts of daily resistance — hard work like reaching out to those who’ve been heavily conditioned by mainstream culture. This can be an agonizingly slow, inch-by-inch effort — but it’s crucial.
The revolutionary process also involves broadening our scope and making wider and wider connections — aiming for holistic perspectives and thus, holistic justice across lines of gender, age, ethnicity, species, ability, sexual orientation, class, and more. This is abstract work but no less arduous or crucial.
As for tactics, why not let each activist decide which implement best suits her or his style? There’s so much work to be done so, instead of worrying about what everyone else is or isn’t doing, perform a daily ego-check and focus on the myriad tasks at hand.
It’s a long and exhilarating road ahead. Let’s collectively risk imperfection and choose process over purity.
the nuts and bolts of daily resistance – how many of us who would not call ourselves activists or believe we are involved in a ‘revolutionary process’, are nevertheless engaged on a daily basis in challenging what some in adoptionland like to call ‘the negative aspects of adoption’, the myths and beliefs about adoption and adoptees. Those of us who live the adopted life, who have no choice but to do the best we can with the hand we have been dealt, are well aware that the adopted life is an integrated unit of experience, the supposed ‘bad’ cannot be separated from the ‘good’; life is a tapestry of many colours, shades and textures. What appears ‘good’ to some may appear ‘bad’ to others; what at first seems ‘bad’ may turn out to be for the ‘good’. For instance the loss of our father and mother may be a shocking fact of brutality, cruelty and inhumanity. For some of us learning to live with that loss, to mourn what was not to be, may eventually be something we realise gave us many advantages and benefits. For other adoptees, the cruel loss may be made so much harder when we understand the facts and the truth of it and see that we were not ‘better off’ or in any way advantaged by loosing our mother, our family, our country, our language and our culture.
Personally, I could, by some, be considered one of the fortunate ones. I began life as one of the ‘unfortunates’, little better than a gutter inhabitant and will end life as one of the Forgotten Ones – those adoptees my country would rather have forgotten exist, but have acknowledged, validated and made apology to. I am proud that it was our first female Prime Minister who made that Apology, but I digress….. I grew up near where I was born. I visit the place often where my mother and father met and where I was conceived. I know all my families, have met a number of my relatives and have completed the reunion cycle. Few mysteries remain. Some questions will never be answered. I have been asked occasionally, by adopters, of course, whether I would rather have been raised by my ‘biologicals’ or my adopters. My answer is always the same and always will be the same. It is ‘No’, for the record.
In the Disneyworld of adoption where babies are beautiful gifts, life is adorned with rainbows and unicorns and pregnant girls are persuaded that they have no mothering skills until after they give their first baby for adoption to complete the family of others and have a baby ‘of their own’. Adult adoptees who challenge such views, or any other views held be devotees of unethical adoption, profit- making agencies, attorneys and baby-brokers are told they hold ‘negative’ ideas and views of adoption, which somehow suggests that they are wrong in their beliefs, knowledge and experience. Viewing adoption without the rose-tinted glasses is unpopular, being a ‘joy-sucker’ and met with a barrage of advice on how to live better, be less angry and bitter and to do more good in the adoption community. In other words it is ‘better’ to be untruthful, to deceive, lie and pretend, and to peddle adoption myths to the innocent, vulnerable and unwary, in the hopes that they will keep on being innocent, vulnerable and unknowing and support a wrong view of adoption, one that is not multi-faceted, rich in experiences, synchronicities, stranger than fiction and above all REAL!! Is that weird or what? Perhaps fearful, unwilling to learn and frightened to know life might better describe it.