Animals in Adoption

dog walkNo-one can have failed to notice how the advent of fur-kids as gone along with a growing and profitable industry in fur-kid accessories, products, provision, accommodation, clothes and styling. It’s commonplace now to see animals that used to be known as dogs in onesies, hats, glasses and being provided special beds, foods, motels, walkers and groomers.They have become the must have accessory – just like human adoptees, as long as they are cute, cuddly, part of a ‘rainbow’ family in which colour is not important because ‘we love them all the same’!
Of course those older kids in foster care don’t stand a chance of having a family they so badly need. In my country they are often embroiled in attempts to ‘rehabilitate’ the family on the orders of the court and against the information and advice given by social workers who know the kids, know the adults and know the odds. Some families are never going to be rehabilitated, some adults never learn to parent or reach standards of child care that could be deemed acceptable and non-abusive by even those with the lowest standards and expectations.
Those who believe all babies should remain with their mothers and all children should be raised by their biological parents have never seen the realities of the parenting of some parents.They have not had to rescue starving children, admit them to hospital with hypothermia, bathe them and get the nits out of their hair, the lice off their little bodies or calm an hysterical, bruised and battered child, terrified by the abuse inflicted by a mother. Early adoption would in some situations help to avoid continued abuse by biological parents and by a system which doesn’t work in the best interests of kids, but very firmly comes down on the side of adults, abusive adults who are supported by a court system which doesn’t take into account the effects of abuse and instead believes that it is care arrangements that are abusive. So they may be, due to length of stay, insufficient training of carers, lack of recognition of the difficult task and other factors caused by a clumsy, inflexible system which does not give enough options, does not start preventative work early enough or at all and considers the child last not first. And so it is in other countries ……..the abuse of children continues unabated. Most of you who read here and follow the world of adoption will be only too familiar with the horror stories, the deaths, destruction of young lives and the cruelties perpetrated by adults, themselves the victims of abuse, of violence in childhood. No adult perpetrator can be found not to be the victim of abuse in their own childhood. No trader in violence towards others in whatever sphere of life, parent or not, has not been at some time the victim of abuse. Those who are raised without violence do not learn to treat others with violence.
You might find this article on the childhood of Obama interesting or enlightening. Violence begets violence, hatred breeds hatred –
I was following a thread on Facebook the other day about the Holts and their associations with leaders who had been responsible for committing atrocities. One follower did not believe that those who follow orders are responsible for what they do in slaughtering innocent civilians! Perhaps, like me, you believe we are all responsible for our actions whether they are orders or not!
In adoption of children we often see the role of animals, pets and it is a much underrated or unrecognised area of adoption. In some situation pets need to be protected from children who are seriously damaged and who will torture and abuse family pets or any animals in their care. Tough but the truth. In most other situations, it can be very helpful for adoptees to care for pets, to have pets to love and look after. Many, many adoptees speak of the love they have for the animals and birds of their childhood and the significance of them in their lives. Pets give us ears to confide in, stroke and groom, love and pet. We love them and they respond unconditionally often, without complication, strings or conditions. They are there for us, don’t ask difficult questions, lie, cheat, bully or want us to be anyone but our selves. They teach us to deal with death and grieving since their life spans are usually shorter than ours. They are sometimes our faithful friends when all others desert us.
Personally, I have no serious preferences. I have loved dogs, cats, fish, hamsters, birds and tortoises. All are remembered, some are still mourned and missed. Some were taken from me by the actions of others in heartbreaking scenarios that revealed those people for who they really were. It also revealed that they did not understand the significance of pets in adoption or to me and I hope adopters today do better than mine did! My amother encouraged, my afather discouraged – quite a combination with distressing consequences in which my amother did not stand up for herself or me. She gave in to a bullying bipolar sufferer who always got his own way. He blustered and bullied, pouted and sulked until he did. Quite a charmer!! Perhaps that has an influence on my choice of animal and bird companions today. All my adult life I loved geese and eventually was in a position to realise my dream. Some would say a nightmare! They don’t know geese, their habits and ways, their gestures and ‘language’. It surely is no accident that I have chosen to live with the largest domestic bird, one with a reputation for being fierce and unforgiving, with a long memory and a long life!
Have a fun day! I’m off to the Immunologist, who will try to interpret my strange blood test results, which now include a very significant Vitamin D deficiency, the result no doubt of not living the outdoor life I used to. Then it’s home for osso bucco, done all day in the slow cooker and topped with gremolato when it’s plated. I’m starting to feel hungry just thinking about it!


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