Here at Poddler’s Creek, peace reigns in our oasis of calm, except for it being ‘that time of year’ for the geese. Thank goodness it’s not monthly! Ganders are stretching their necks long, hissing and rolling their eyes in attempts to be threatening and show the girls what big handsome chaps they are. It seems to work ok and very soon we’ll see the first nest-building and egg laying. Geese mother their eggs in ways which are very touching and recognisable as nurturing. They are gentle and ‘talk’ to the eggs and to the developing goslings. One of the most moving moments I ever witnessed as a fairly new goose keeper was the moment when the gander introduces himself to the just hatched goslings. He puts his head low down to their level and greets each tiny ball of fluff individually, speaking to it quietly and gently. Ganders generally are excellent fathers, if allowed the opportunity, as are geese as mothers. It gives great pause for thought.
I am currently just finishing Alice Miller’s “Free From Lies – Discovering Your True Needs”. How very apt it is in a time when young, innocent black men are not safe on the streets, women and girls are never safe on the streets and adoptees are not safe in their homes, the places other people call their homes, but which are a nightmare of abuse, often in the name of a ‘good’ christian upbringing. Here in Australia we have a Royal Commission going on into child abuse, with the personnel of the Roman Catholic church questioned so far not coming out smelling like roses. No, it’s not a few bad apples in a barrel; it is a well established, long-term culture of abuse.
These examples so amply demonstrate what Alice Walker is writing about – the effects of violence in parenting which produces violent, abusive people prepared to abuse their own children and those of others. The book demonstrates how violence and abuse perpetuate, but it rarely mentions the far more insidious and hard to prove emotional abuse which many suffer and which causes as much, if not more, damage to children in their growing years.
How often in the world of adoption we see the severely damaged mother in reunion, causing havoc in the life of the adoptee, someone who could be deemed lucky to have had a different upbringing, in a different ’emotional culture’ and who doesn’t ‘speak the same language’ of abuse, games playing, passive-aggressive manipulations, control and point scoring. The roller coaster of emotions, rejections, sudden silences, deletions from facebook, tearful phonecalls, recriminations, guilt-tripping, umbrage-taking and recriminations can leave the adoptee exhausted, mystified, hurt, at a loss and often unwilling to go on. Whatever s/he does it feeds into the cycle and perpetuates the only thing the mother knows – abusive ways of communicating and relating. Often, after giving it a good shot the adoptee has to withdraw, cut off communication and often the relationship before it damages further and damages the next generation. Hard as it is, these are not the grandmothers we want for our children or should allow them to have, if we are being good, protective parents. We have no obligation to the previous generation if they did not raise us, but we do have a responsibility to our children. They must come first. Always.
See Lara here on abusive adoptions and the tragic recent cases – http://larahentz.wordpress.com/2013/07/16/adoptees-murdered-by-parents
Even an article such as the one below advocates violence and preparedness to commit violence against others in the discussion of how we might save ourselves in an insane world. While we view others as ‘the zombie masses’ and ourselves as somehow ‘other’, we are in grave danger of loosing our compassion and empathy, if ever we had any!
I used to believe the coming collapse might be at least somewhat organized… that people might stand calmly in government food lines, or that they might pull together in communities for the common good, to help each other in times of need.
I was kidding myself. That might happen in Japan, but not the Divided States of America. Now I recognize the fall of reason in its entirety, and I now know with certainty that the zombie masses cannot be reasoned with, cannot be bargained with, and cannot be stopped by anything other than sheer force.
Are you ready to exert force in defense of your life and property? If not, I would suggest you’re not really ready for the fall of society that’s now at our doorstep.
If you’re not willing to exert force, are you really, really good at running from trouble and evading attackers? That might save you. But running and evading works a whole lot better if you also have a .45 pistol at your side as a backup… just in case you run out of places to hide.
The violence that I now see unfolding across America is the final cue that self defense is a prerequisite for survival. When the last shred of law and order is abandoned — and that day seems very near — it will all break down into a Wild West scenario where only the armed (and the willing) have any real chance at survival.
So point No. 4 is to get yourself armed and trained at concealed carry. It will give you a sense of confidence, thereby vastly reducing your stress.
The fall of reason: How to protect your sanity in an insane world (and achieve spiritual victory in the process).
How very tragic to think that writers such as this one believe the survival of America and Americans lies in being armed and willing! This beautiful country with so many talented, creative people has become an Empire of crumbling ethics, of repression, contradictions and confusion, which commands no respect in the world and has even less respect for itself. It is like a toddler running amok with a machine gun in it’s hands. It is out of control, doesn’t seem to understand the consequences of its actions or is too drunk on imagined power to care. Impossible to take seriously but too dangerous to ignore.