This evening your Blogger will be braving the Winter cold, rain and traffic, along with other balletomanes to see a performance of that old favourite Swan Lake. The tickets were purchased months ago and it has been much anticipated by a Daughter who has managed to live all her years so far without having seen it. Tonight is the night we put it right and catch up on what we were not able to do when she was a child. Life often gives us many bites of the cherry, second and third chances, opportunities to change what we did before, to correct our mistakes, to make amends, to make good and to fill in the blanks. How fortunate we are when we are able to seize the time and to recognise an opportunity and sometimes find the courage to take it. This has not required courage and involves nothing but enjoyment and the making of memories. How important they are in family life, like jewels to be taken out every now and again, polished up and turned over before we tuck them away safely until the next time.
David Swanson writes – In Washington Dulles airport I noticed a large advertisement. I’d seen it before and not paid attention. (No doubt that’s why they saturate public space with the things.) It showed a woman’s face with the words: “A car crash in California almost took her leg. A bomb blast in Iraq helped save it.”
I’m against car crashes in California. I’m in favor of saving Dominique’s leg. But at the website what we find is a claim that her leg was saved because her orthopaedic surgeon had experience in Iraq. And I don’t mean in the Iraqi hospitals that existed before we destroyed that country. I mean he had experience in the destruction process.
Surely a few people walk through U.S. airports while simultaneously living in reality, the reality in which the United States destroyed the nation of Iraq, slaughtered 1.4 million people, created 4.5 million refugees, destroyed the health and education and energy infrastructures, created epidemics of disease and birth defects, traumatized millions of children, and left behind a ruined violent anarchic state cursed with deep divisions previously unknown.
Surely some of those reality-based people are aware that a majority of Americans believes the war benefitted Iraq, and a plurality believes Iraqis are grateful. To read, on top of that perversity, the claim that a bomb blast in Iraq saved Dominique’s leg is sickening. A doctor saved her leg. He found a silver lining in a genocide. The bomb blasts didn’t fucking save people. The bomb blasts killed people. And very few of the killers or their funders or their voters seem to care
In what appears to be a sickening public advertisement which glorifies war and allows people to believe there are benefits from it for citizens who live far away and pay continuously for wars in their taxes when medical aid is not available to all at home, we see a strange and troubling double-think. The very same sort of double-think we see in adoptionland.
Here are some examples –
adoption is beautiful
adoption saves orphans
adoption starts with a blank slate
adoption makes saints of those who parent
adoption only has one story
adoption is love
adoption begins on Gottcha Day
adoption is worth it
adoption is a worthy gift
adoption doesn’t change people
adoption makes it ok to act in ways that we wouldn’t otherwise
adoption makes no price too high
adoption is for always/forever
adoption makes no difference to a child’s development
adoption begins with ‘paper pregnancy’
adoption is different now
If adoption has been a long-held goal for you and seems a beautiful ideal it is important to consider how it seems to those who have lived it. No parent has ever been a saint and you won’t be either, although those who have no real knowledge of adoption may wish to allow you to think you are, just for being a child rescuer. Of course your heart has been touched by the images of broken-hearted children gazing at you from the websites of adoption agencies. They’re designed that way. Those children will wear those expresssions whether you adopt them or not and they’ll keep them for life. Adoptees and ‘professionals’ call it ‘the mask of adoption’ and it’s caused by mother-loss and the traumas associated with adoption. Agencies select carefully who they photograph and who they display for maximum effect and take-up i.e the children who are likely to produce the biggest profits. Harsh? It’s a hard world out there in marketing.
Quite a few of the ideas about adoption and how it is said to be, are about normalising the experience, making it match the things non-adoptees know and experience, feel and think. Normalising any experience such as adoption which is multi-faceted and experienced by adoptees at many levels over a great deal of time is a dangerous activity which is bound to fail because it is an impossible task. It may appear to be successful with young adoptees for a time but as they get older and more aware, knowledgeable, thoughtful and learn to speak for themselves danger lurks and anything that has been a sham, untruthful, hypocritical, deceitful and solely for the convenience of non-adoptees will eventually be found out, challenged and rejected. If we don’t find the truth it has a way of finding us.
And a little gem to finish with – According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), research has shown that children of homosexual and heterosexual parents have the same emotional, cognitive and social abilities. Moreover, legal recognition of gay adoption can provide serenity to the child, the AAP notes, by acknowledging that the parents are both stable and formally recognized
Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/167295-what-are-the-benefits-of-gay-adoption/#ixzz2Y8FVX5cP
And if you can’t see what’s adoptist about that, time to rethink!