Soul Murder

IMG_7853 Here at Poddler’s Creek a new appliance has come into the household. It is shiny bright, efficient and bears the usual warning in five languages. Obviously those using it at home cannot become skilled personnel, but in this household at least one of us is prepared to give it a go and risk any consequences! The warning is posted on the fridge, just in case anyone should get above themselves and think they can compete with the baristas at Cibo! And what a fine job they do, a small chain of cafes in Adelaide only and constantly busy with appreciative customers streaming in and out all day. I had the great pleasure of spending time in one of them last week, soaking up the smells, the atmosphere, people watching, being the girl up from the country, but remembering my city days.
I adore my home town, especially beautiful at this time of year with the Autumn colours, shadow and shade, sun and clouds, pelicans soaring overhead and the bustling familiarity. People from the other States joke and remind people if they visit to turn the lights out when they leave or ask if there was anyone home when they got here. Those of us who were born here or who have taken it to their hearts, have been known to shed tears after time away, as the plane circles to land. The connection is almost palpable; some describe it as similar to being in love with a person, a lifelong love which strikes us whether we were born here or whether we came to it late, sometimes those latecomers fall particularly hard. Unlike a lover, the city never lets us down, leaves us or betrays us, it changes, grows and develops new characteristics, but it never fails to delight, to amuse, to fascinate and inspire.
The artist Jeffrey Smart ( has died this week at 91 years of age. He was born and raised in this city and as a young boy moved from the relative affluence of the suburbs, to the inner city. The house overlooked the parklands, open green space with old trees. Jeffrey however, was enchanted by the back alleys, the geometric patterns of fences and walls, buildings and factories. That enchantment lasted and developed when he lived in Rome and later in Tuscany where he spent the rest of his life. I guess you love his work or you hate it. It challenges and forces you to look at the world differently, in a new way. In my book that can never be a bad thing.
To something completely different – autism
Interesting to see this table. When I began working with children and families back in the ’60’s there was no autism, it was unknown, unseen and uninvented. To those of you who suffer or who have diagnosed kids, it is very real and often very hard to deal with. In observing this sad and accelerating epidemic over the years, I have come to the conclusion that those with autism are ‘the canaries down the mine’ – they are the tragic indicators of what we have done and allowed to be done to our food, our environment, our lifestyle and the world we live in.
Finishing with a quote – Due to what John Bowlby calls attachment, parents are the most notorious soul murderers. For those who have been emotionally crushed and years later have made contact with their inner being, this is obvious. However, it’s not obvious at all for most of mankind. Because of our attachment to the perpetrator, what we are dealing with is the foundational taboo of civilization: what Alice Miller called “the forbidden knowledge.”< Psychology | The West’s Darkest Hour | Page 2.

Finally a piece on the bullying culture that plagues many lives and forms the norm for so many in an unequal world – In the United States, however, hardcore competition and striving to be the best are generally considered vital to keeping people motivated and functioning at optimal levels. Harsh inequalities are considered, at best, an unfortunate consequence. Yet gender pressures—and especially the expectation to embrace hypermasculine values and behaviors—are seldom examined in the context of the larger socioeconomic forces that shape them
Placing adoptees in the context of the above, it is little wonder there are difficulties, little wonder many children are having difficulties, adopted or not. How to deal with it and how to change it are the relevant questions. We know the answers in theory, now let’s get on with putting them into practise.


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