Get upset over being told (as West was) that someone’s going to rape you with a traffic cone – even though they don’t even find you attractive – and you’re being ‘sensitive’ and taking things too personally. But tell a man you don’t like his joke about rape and it’s like Stonewall all over again. You might as well call him a RAPIST, which is like, the worst thing you can ever say to a man EVER. He’s not a rapist! He just thinks rape is funny! Not in real life, silly. Just fake life. Anyway, stop being so mean 😦
So why the disconnect between real life and fake life? Because much of what is viewed on the internet is fake life and some people can’t tell the difference? That confusion or blurring of the lines must surely lead to all kinds of situations in which we find ourselves confronted by what makes us feel uncomfortable, threatened or afraid.
I’ve so far lived a fairly long life in which I’ve experienced many of the real life situations women and girls find themselves in from time to time, in which men are decidedly predatory, inappropriate, abusive, threatening and so on. I’ve also witnessed and been the subject of many of those comments men make to women in which they suggest the woman has no sense of humour, needs to cheer up/lighten up and suggest that the woman is making them the victim because she takes things too seriously/misunderstood/is a cow/hates men/is a sour bitch etc. Those things are often said where there are no witnesses, but sometimes before a large crowd and supporting partners.
I remember once counting around amongst my women friends and work colleagues and could think of no-one who had not experienced the same and that included rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, incest and all of the other acts of violence, control and power men are capable of. How easy to say it must have been something we said/did/wore, but women in all cultures and religions suffer the same way. Buddhist nuns in Tibet are raped by Chinese soldiers, Muslim women fully covered are raped, suffer stoning and abuse, American women suffer kidnapping and imprisonment, rape and humiliation.
Manning showed us through the documents he released that Iraqis have endured hundreds of rapes and murders, along with systematic torture by the military and police of the puppet government we installed. He let us know that none of these atrocities were investigated.http://www.countercurrents.org/hedges100613.htm
Women in America and no doubt elsewhere who work to produce food are vulnerable to rape and to being invisible – http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/social-issues/rape-in-the-fields/the-hidden-story-of-rape-on-the-job-in-america
Surely, time to take the actions of men such as this one seriously and to make the penalties stick and fit with no parole to endanger women further. Isn’t it time professionals were skilled enough to recognise deception or don’t they care? http://au.news.yahoo.com/vic/latest/a/-/newshome/17554760/jills-killer-was-on-parole-for-rapes
And so on it goes…..women not taken seriously, rape and domestic violence underplayed and the abuses of priests allowed, permitted and uncharged. The abuse of the churches, particularly the Roman Catholic Church would make many posts alone. A cleric has just informed the Royal Commission into sexual abuse, at which the churches are appearing for days of evidence and are being held to account, that celibacy is the cause of the sexual abuse of children!! In other words, if men have sex with women it prevents them raping and abusing children! It seems a lack of logic has escaped them, as well as the understanding of the differences between sexual relationships and the sexual abuse of children! The culture of abuse which pervades and seems to dominate the workings of the church has been alive and well for generations. This is not an example of a few bad apples. If you want to get some idea of how it works, watch the movie “Oranges and Sunshine” in which the actual abuse of the boys was toned down for public consumption. It was far worse than depicted and is described in an investigation which was made some years ago into the activities of seven priests and lay priests of the Christian Brothers. What is described there is far too graphic and horrifying to post here, even in this blog where truth prevails. Those victims were boys, although 95% of victims are female.
Go here if you are a survivor and are looking for support – http://www.adultsabusedbyclergy.org
Do men find the idea of the male rape of men funny in ‘fake’ life? Or in real life? It seems in some areas they do. Ask the many men who are gay or who have been assumed to be gay, who have been raped if it affected their lives and how it did so. So it must be about men, right? Nothing to do with women and all to do with insecurity, the need to dominate, control and in the situation of war, to humiliate, degrade, kill, destroy, impregnate and colonise in the most basic way possible. Men are instructed by other men to do so, but sometimes act without instruction or orders. It seems that men in that situation act towards others without compassion or mercy and that race and country of origin have nothing to do with who the perpetrators are or what they are capable of. If brought to book they have only to plead PTSD or depression to get off and escape punishment. Perhaps they too are the victims, trained to be the aggressor, to kill and wound and may well have made that an overlay of what went before in their lives. How will it all end? Will it ever end?
The world holds many good men who are not rapists and abusers. We all know them – men who are horrified at the activities of other men, who are sometimes ashamed to be men, couragous men who will stand up and say publicly that what is happening is wrong. They need our support, our approval and our encouragement. We also need the thoughtful support of other women who don’t spout the unthinking stigmatising and prejudicial views of abusing men and an abusive male society, such as those Serena Williams gave us the benefit of this week – http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/serena-williams-steubenville