A Different Life

Thanks to Chad for this title from his recent welcome comment, in which he notes agencies should never promise ‘a better life’ for adoptees, simply ‘a different life’.

Here in this ‘different life’ it is exquisite weather, no other word for it. Rare, late Autumn days, in which there is stillness, sunshine, blue skies, intensely blue sea and the lingering Autumn colour of the vines and trees against the blue/purple/green intensity which is so beloved of the artists of the area. The contrasts are sharp but soft, the palette extensive and every glance out the window, glimpse of the view or trip to the township is one of pleasure; the greater for knowing the time is fleeting. Soon it will be swept away by Winter winds and cold.

One of the many wineries nearby, has a slightly hilly site, the lie of the land is a joy to observe and the driveway to the cellar door has an avenue of good old London Plane trees, that robust grow anywhere tree, with beautiful bark, planar leaves and a full range of Autumn colours which seem to shimmer and glitter with the slightest breeze. (davesgarden.com) It is a delightful winery to visit, they have a visiting goose who pops in from next door to see what’s going on and the wine is good too. Yours truly has been encouraging them to take on their own flock of geese for their organic vines, so good for the soil those little packages of organic fertiliser they deposit in convenient places! Such an attraction for the visitors too, a flock of tame geese!

Here in Birdland the colder weather has increased the appetites of the flock for their morning and evening grain. Their keeper feels very welcomed and joyfully accepted, as they run or rather waddle fast, with their honks of greeting and excitement knowing it is feed-time. The Matriarch allows stroking of the feathers while she feeds from the filling bucket – she slips in boldly where others fear to tread, her hand-raising still showing at times like this, when she shows no fear or anxiety, just likes to get in a few extra beakfuls of grain while she has the opportunity. Geese are as smooth as silk to stroke but a bit gritty to kiss!! Your Goose Wrangler was once cuddling said Matriarch and overcome with affection for her, such a delightful cuddly character, that she planted a kiss on her neck! Very gritty! A bit like eating an unwashed leek or kissing a small sandy child on a beach. Not something to repeat, but not something you’d ever know not to do unless you’d done it! A bit like some other experiences in life.

As I write,the  two young calico ladies are snoozing, each in a cat igloo of their choosing, side by side. It’s first come first serve really, although they seem to have slight preferences. They have been out all night, partying probably. They’re teens now and look as if they intend to sleep solidly all day, perhaps rousing themselves briefly for a snack. Life is beautiful, peaceful and content for them – the perfect adoption!! Even their mother and their grandmother were pleased and seemed to be ready for them to make their own way in the world. Not so Uncle Scamp, their canine protector who was anxious about their departure. Poor old Scamp, he misses them but he has an open invitation to visit any time. How very different cat and dog adoption is from human adoption, won’t bore you with the comparisons as I know you’re all aware of them, many adoptees being avid animal fans. Your Blogger is probably fairly typical amongst fellow adoptees in being happiest when surrounded by non-human companions.

I love people, family, old colleagues, friends old and new, but animals and birds can be so undemanding, happy to see you and never ask questions about adoption or make assertions! No animal or respectful, humane adult would state something like the following either, except for some mysterious reason to an adoptee audience. Can you imagine someone saying something like this to an unemployed neighbour, their priest, a just made redundant work colleague, a Guardian Angel, opposing side football fan, or a complete stranger on a train, for instance, about their supposed life, past and future goals, experience ? Can you imagine the reactions? In the face of such impolite, patronising nonsense, adoptees are remarkably restrained, polite even, patient and put time into explaining why this is not only incorrect, adoptist but a foolish attitude to take, particularly for someone who says they are raising an adoptee!

If adoptees that were part of the “old”, “closed” or “broken” system have so much anger and bitterness toward their adoption process, world, etc., then why don’t you do something USEFUL with that energy and work to help ensure that those terrible habits of the past are done away with?  Educate yourselves on positive open adoption and push to educate others. Not gripe about a bad story from 30 years ago. Adoption is going to continue, and won’t go away just because you have a bad view of it. Continuing just to bitch on adoption blogs or tell PAP’s that they’re awful people for wanting to adopt is just a waste.  Be more constructive with your life and serve a purpose. You’ll feel better when you accomplish something.

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