Adopting the Inferior Child – the Untermensch

Over at The Adopted Ones blog, there is a post about the blog being found through a search for ‘adopting an inferior child’ !! Understandably, The Adopted Ones have made their feelings very clear on what they think should happen to any application to adopt, from someone who would use the expression ‘inferior child’. As you may or may not have guessed, this blogger fully supports those views expressed by The Adopted Ones and would like to see many changes in the way adoption applications/home studies are carried out.  Anyone who has thought it through thoroughly, will understand that far too many adoptions take place, far too many adoptions that could have been avoided by changed attitudes to family preservation, support of mothers and communities and changed attitudes to poverty, who and what produce poverty and the factors and people who contribute to it. Poverty is not accidental; like all things in life it has causes and effects, actions and consequences. Adoption fits right in there in the cycle of supply and demand, the globalisation of greed and the commodification of anything and anybody. Demand produces a market. That market has grown, exploded and become highly profitable for those who exploit it, supply it and protect it. The means of supply are often dubious, illegal, exploitative, dishonest and deceiving of those who are often vulnerable, naive and willing to be deceived, mislead and hood-winked. I mean adopters here just to be clear!  So many times we see adopters protesting that ‘their agency’ is ethical. No-one can have that assurance in modern adoption, particularly in transnational adoption. There are some who believe no adoption is ethical, because it is built on loss and trauma and the separation  of  mother and child, which unless it is strictly necessary for reasons of safety, abuse or neglect should never occur and is abusive in itself. The more we know of the mother/child dyad the more we can see the truth of this. John Bowlby was researching, writing and making his findings know on attachment and loss of attachment as many as 70 years ago now – it seems many are still not listening!

The history of adoption is too long to go into here. Those of you who understand adoption thoroughly, whatever role you are in, will already know it and those of you who don’t, can very easily find it. Unfortunately it is so often the ones who don’t, who will not, have no interest and don’t intend to challenge their comfy attitudes and ideas. How often we see a blogger saying in response to a comment ‘We’ll have to agree to disagree’ or ‘I don’t agree with you’ when it is solely about a matter of fact, not about opinions, perspective or attitudes. Sad and not conducive to good adoption practice or progress in adoption practice to view adoption through such a narrow lens. So often these are the people who are raising the current generation of young adoptees, are still finding their wings and do not have long experience under their belts.

In time perhaps, the adoptees they are raising will teach them to think differently, to view adoption realistically and in the fullest of the multi-faceted and complex experience that it is. Those who have been given the great privilege of raising adoptees have been given enormous responsibility, the most difficult parenting task there is and the most challenging. It seems that so few are aware of how to go about that with full knowledge and giving themselves the very best chance they can to do the best job possible. Denial, dismissal of adult adoptees and over-brimming self-confidence which so often hides lack of skills, quaking fear or anxieties abound. Bluff and bluster does no credit, reveals so much and while understandable, will never amount to a climate of respect, trust, productive sharing or progress in the reforms that are necessary, if adoptees are to stop being regarded as untermensch, inferior, second-class and the differently abled not worth adopting according to some! While prospective adopters and adopters continue to hold attitudes which are adoptist, racist, disablist, extremist and stigmatising, we will see new generations of adoptees who will grow up just like us older adoptees!! That it seems is for some, an adopter’s worst fear, nightmare and point of denial because it seems we older adoptees are the product of ‘bad adoptions’! How they know what our adoptions were like remains a mystery and it certainly would be a mistake to judge our adoptive parents and our adoptions from our views, opinions or actions. Perhaps they are still not aware that we are adults, many of us having been adoptees since before they were born, with long adult lives and plenty of time to form our own opinions, have our own experiences of adoption and understand its stigma, it’s long-term effects and results.

Attachment Theory is one of the most important theoretical developments in psychoanalysis to have emerged in the past half-century. It combines the rigorous scientific empiricism of ethology with the subjective insights of psychoanalysis, and has had an enormous impact in the fields of child development, social work, psychology, and psychiatry. This is the first known book to appear which brings together John Bowlby and post-Bowlbian research and shows how the findings of Attachment Theory can inform the practice of psychotherapy. It also provides fascinating insights into the history of the psychoanalytic movement and looks at the ways in which Attachment Theory can help in the understanding of society and its problems

And to finish a little something to chew on – The Mixed-Race Milk Bite » Sociological Images.

3 thoughts on “Adopting the Inferior Child – the Untermensch

  1. Von, I really like the way you sum up a lot of “need-to-knows” in this post.
    I would like to reblogg this, if you allow.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s