Please read this excellent post by Melynda on ambiguous grief and the losses of adoption.As I noted in my comment it is interesting how others like to tell us how we should be ‘doing grief’ and want to lay down set patterns and time limits. Like they know how it is for us!!


Letters to Ms. Feverfew

During my little vacation last month, I read  “Loss, Trauma, and Resilience: Therapeutic Work with Ambiguous Loss” by Pauline Boss. It changed the way I think and feel about myself and this adoption “stuff” that just won’t go away.

Last night, I started re-reading it and taking notes, trying to come up with ideas on how this model applies with natural mothers and the unique situation we face within our culture and society at large. The book is directed towards therapists, but since I can’t seem to find a therapist who knows much about grief and even less about ambiguous loss, I figured I should read it and see what I can learn that might help me in my journey.I am going to be a bit bold here, but I believe this book and this model of loss with its attendant therapeutic approaches is the key for…

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  1. Thank you so much for reblogging this post, Von! The more people learn about this new model of loss and grief, mothers and their children lost to adoption will be better off. Dr. Boss started working on applying it to young adoptees, but little has been done to apply it to reunion settings or natural families. If I were in the mood to go back to school, I would start researching in this area because there is so much work to be done. So *very* much work.

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